Heat Stroke

happy Friday everyone. It's so hot. I know, I sound like every other porteño in BA complaining about the heat. But it's true. Suddenly after Christmas the temps just shot up and now we're all in a literal oven (often times you'll see on the news "La ciudad es un horno!!" - the city is an oven. Thank you, newscasters).

This is pretty standard for January, and most people are chilling out on the beach anyway, so those of us left here to work and melt are the only ones who suffer. It's doable if you can manage to avoid having to get anything done between the hours of 11am and 4 pm when it's usually hottest. Not going to lie, I haven't even gone to the post office because the 4 block walk will leave me dripping. Sad and pathetic, but true. (Most people tend to cancel their plans when it's pouring rain here, so it's on par with local culture. Let's go with that)

It doesn't help that the air conditioning DOES NOT WORK in my office. Sure, the section next to ours has nice cold air blowing, and so does everyone else in the entire building. But does the little section belonging to the Buenos Aires Herald have functioning a/c? NO. That is why I am in a horrible mood. In the past couple of weeks the heat has been bearable since there are tons of fans blowing around to keep their air from becoming completely stagnant. But yesterday was another story. I couldn't concentrate, I felt miserable, and I could barely get through an hour without going downstairs to the bar to bask in their frozen paradise. Truth. I can't imagine what it must be like to work in one of those crazy Chinese sweatshop factories where it's over 100 degrees and you can't take a break (dramatic association but hey, when you think your brain is frying that is what you start to do).

We were actually allowed to leave work early because of the heat. 9:30 PM and "ok, it's too hot, you can go home" - music to my ears since I'm still adjusting to getting home at 10:30 every night. You can bet I was out of there before Martín had finished his sentence.

What else? Well, I'm officially a total thyroid cancer expert, at least when it pertains to Cristina Fernández de Kirchner. All I have been doing for the past week has been covering her "illness" and the media frenzy that is set up outside the hospital. It's annoying. There are literally HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE CAMPED OUT - and have been for the past 3 days - waving their stupid political flags, images of CFK with her dead husband Néstor and baby Jesus statues praying for her recovery. News flash kiddos - she has recovered! The surgery went off without a hitch and now she's just hanging out in a hospital gown before she gets flown in her helicopter to her house. Then she's off to her family estate in El Calafate until her leave of absence ends. Boring! Also, who pays these people to camp out?

Tonight we're going to El Almacén de los Milagros for dinner and I am crazy excited. It's supposed to be a lovely little bistro experience, and I love that it's close by in Recoleta. Driving to Palermo gets repetitive and annoying sometimes, so I am happy when cool new spots pop up in the neighborhood.

Today was the 12th day of Christmas so it's time to take the Christmas tree down. I think I might make José do that - I'm bound to end up in a puddle on the floor.

Foreign Exchange Transactions Regulated by the Government

Start stuffing dollars under your mattresses, everyone. Today marks new measures being taken against the massive exodus of dollars leaving Argentina - the AFIP will now be checking each and every transaction to buy foreign currency. Before you could make such transactions at an ATM or over the phone, but now you must do so in person at a bank or an exchange agency only. People will be expected to explain the purpose of the exchange - where their dollars will be going, essentially - and are subject to the AFIP's approval. News outlets say that if you claim the money is destined toward a trip abroad or to pay off a debt, approval shouldn't be difficult to obtain. Regardless, it's another drastic measure taken by the Government to control what is believed to be US$20B that has left the country this year alone.

For more information read this article from The Argentina Independent

Argentina: Where News is Clothing-Optional

News media outlets around the world (Gawker and The Daily Mail both covered the story, as did the newspaper where I work - The Argentina Independent) have been going nuts over the "scandal" that started the week of on Argentina's version of Dancing with the Stars.

Really?

Cintia Fernández, a "model" (I really don't even know what her claim to fame is. Do a Google Image search for her, but beware, just a tad NSFW), is known for wearing barely-there costumes and frolicking about topless after her dance numbers end. Monday night she kicked off the "Strip Dance" round - yes, Bailando por un Sueño considers striptease a respectable rhythm - with a Greco-Roman inspired skankfest. In the last few seconds of the routine (after she was bathed in a jug of wine by her partner) she somehow managed to take off the last tiny piece of clothing she had on and was left standing totally naked in front of a live tv audience. Check out the video if you're so inclined.

Later she blamed this wardrobe "malfunction" on the wine that got in her eyes but lots of people think she did it on purpose - after all, she's not known for her modesty. Regardless, it's been interesting to see the backlash both here and at home. Bailando por un Sueño is a show that is on basic cable 4 nights a week, dominating the ratings and raking in millions of viewers. Hours a day are dedicated to the program and many families eat dinner with the show on in the background.

Anyone who has been to Buenos Aires knows that female nudity isn't as taboo as it is at home. Men's magazines litter the kiosks that are on every street corner, with huge silicone breasts at a very convenient eye level, women of all ages at the beach prance around with little bikini bottoms that show off their almost-always perfect butts (really, what is in the water here?), and in general they're much less Puritanical than we are. I can deal with that, if you've got it, flaunt it ... Todo bien. But there's a line that needs to be drawn. To make a comparison: When Miley Cyrus was photographed by Annie Leibovitz a few years back, people were appalled, begging her to "see herself as a role model for young girls." And it's true - so many pre-adolescents and young girls look up to her and are highly impressionable. But showing a little back is nothing compared to what my eyes soak up on a daily basis here.

Take a look at this screen shot taken from InfoBae - an online news source - and you'll see what I mean. This is "normal" - Women posing in thongs and showing their cleavage in photos that aren't always relevant to the story. It's ridiculous. (And yes I am aware that one of those photos is of the girl that supposedly had sex with Ashton Kutcher).

After a while you get used to it ... Otherwise you'd go totally mad. Although I doubt I'll be prancing around in a g-string with my butt implants anytime soon. If that happens, get me outta here. 

Weekly News Roundup - April 8th

I make no secret of my crush on Adrian, the witty genius behind the "Thoughts of a Foreigner" blog and the man behind the news roundups at the paper where I work, The Argentina Independent. When I read his presentation of current events in and around Argentina I can't help but laugh out loud (right before I hang my head and weep because it's all so pathetic and true). For those who don't live in BA, it's a fun way to sneak a glimpse into life in crazytown, and for those of us who are brave enough to weather the tough times, it provides a strong (and much-needed) dose of comic relief.

Here is the link to this week's roundup. I have to include some of my favorite excerpts though, it's just too good.

"....So in closing, this whole debacle can only be attributed to the extreme ideological differences between President Cristina Fernandez de Kirchner (Victory Front party, center-left) and Buenos Aires City Mayor Mauricio Macri (PRO party, center-right) who keep fighting over the stupidest things every day. Oh, just fuck already."

"Welcome to Argentina, Michael Buble! And now that you’re married to an Argentine chick, the country is ready to make you feel at home. That’s why, while you were celebrating the joys of holy matrimony in an over the top party with your family last Saturday, robbers broke into your wife’s house and stole a bunch of stuff. And every expat knows that nothing says “welcome to Argentina” like getting robbed on the second day you move here! So in fact, you should be flattered by the whole thing. It means you’ve joined the club! (Although I admit that throwing your wife’s VCR and DVD players in the swimming pool just for fun may have been too much). Come to think of it, who the fuck owns a VCR in 2011? I say, throw that shit in there."