$$$$$$$$$$

I just found about 3 pesos in MONEDAS and I am therefore ecstatic

Home At Last

Well I made it, after a 10 hour flight in which I almost succumbed to hypothermia, followed by serious neck pain and a brief stopover in the Agricultural Section of US Customs ( ? ) ... I don't think I carried any farm animals or products in from Argentina, but whatever.

It's been nice but I'm freezing my face off. I'm cold. The Customs Man commented on my nice tan. It was a lovely way to start my day.

Anyhow, I am telling people I have Anthrax because I have take Cipro for this gross thing I have on my foot ( t.m.i ? ) ... Whatever. I googled images of anthrax and let me tell you folks it is no picnic. I'm glad I don't really have it.

O'Hern is the best and sent me THIS funny interview with the wonderful Rufus Wainwright and it appears that he, too, suffers from ailments of the foot. I don't know if I will heed his advice about remedy but it was well appreciated.

I'm off to a hot hot bath because I'm still frozen to the core and then will be decorating the Christmas tree and trying not to have a mental breakdown because my family is CRAZY

Feliz Navidad !

Felices Fiestas

Ok folks I'm coming home. Will arrive in the good old United States of America tomorrow morning and could not be more excited. Although today was really wonderful as I lounged poolside and soaked up some December rays. I'm not necessarily looking forward to the awful weather that is going to accompany my visit.

Anyway, life is great, apartment is great, great weekend, great dinner, great whatever ... I am also just really ready to get home and see Bella and Redmere and eat INDIAN.

That's really all I care about.

Ok if you want to see me for my limited Northern America tour, let me know, we can eat Chipotle and/or not have to worry about the shortage of coins .... ah, bliss

Moving Day

Well folks today is the BIG day where I finally move into my own apartment in lovely Belgrano. I have been all over the map today for work and cannot believe that I have that much STUFF to put into my suitcases. Really, like, WTF. Seriously. Half of my clothes I brought I won't even need to use because my job doesn't make me wear office formal casual professional chic whatever you want to call it. Nice, but not nice when I have to move it from its lovely resting place in a closet into a tiny VW Gol and then into my new home.

Anyyyyyyyway. Won't have internet and will probably be too busy jumping on the bed to think about email and whatnot. Am coming back to America next week so we'll catch up then. Cannot wait to get into the Christmas spirit ( dare I say it, with cold weather ) and am really looking forward to stuffing my face with Indian food.

Bandit

Please read about little Bandit's plight to have a normal life again. I want a tortoise and I WANT ONE NOW

Great Minds Think Alike

Here is proof that I'm not the only one who complains, slash, proof that Argies are crazy.
List courtesy of the wonderful Katie

I Love America Because:

People do not hoard coins and then sell them on the black market
When Madonna has a concert, those going to the show don't park in the emergency lane of I-95 any other major US highway located close to the concert venue.
You don't have to pay some rag carrying ¨guarda autos¨ to look after your car at night.
Hosing off the sidewalk in front of your house with filtered water for twenty minutes every morning is not called ¨cleaning¨ it´s called wasting hundreds of gallons of potable drinking water because you and your fellow citizens haven´t been taught how to use a garbage can or an ashtray.
You don't have to unlock the toilet paper every time you use the bathroom in a US office building.
The amphibious Nike sandals never made it onto the NYC fashion circuit (thank god).
1. Taxi drivers don't go on strike because they are mad that the number of people who take cabs has dropped dramatically since….well, the stock market crashed and we entered a world recession.
Graffiti (or stenciling as they call it here) is not art; it's the defacement of property.
Ham and cheese in not considered vegetarian.
Men don´t drink diet coke.
Selling stolen paintbrushes and remote controls on the train and subway is not considered ¨making a living, ¨ it's called robbery.
The only people who drink Fanta and other orange soda like liquids are 5 year olds at birthday parties.
Empanadas are not a food group.
Men wear suits to work because they have to, not because they want to.
Having a bachelor's degree does not give you the right to be a professor at an accredited university.
Just because you graduate law school does not mean you are a lawyer. Same goes for someone who studied chemistry in undergrad is not a chemist DAMMIT!
People go to work
Parsianas don´t exist.
Stoplights mean something
Miracle, Sun and Jesus are not names of your children.
In a pharmacy, you don't have to go to three counters and speak to four different people before you are allowed to purchase a box of tampax.
Not everyone is catholic.

The Only Post Worth Reading

I GOT A JOB !!!!

Yep that's right folks
I am now going to be joining the workforce, and am damn happy
Much better than resigning myself to the tour-guiding world, I will be holding lovely and relatively normal office hours with a group of great fun young people and am really looking forward to getting started.

Check out the website:
Road2Argentina.com

Here are related pictures and/or graphs ( pie charts, whatever )

Viaje Del Orto

I just heard about this blog that seriously documents the pathetic state of public transport in Buenos Aires and the suburbs. Luckily I've never been robbed on the train or bus ( more common in the poorer, further away neighborhoods ) but I guess I am inured to the pretty pathetic state of things when you ride the train, subway or bus ... I just chalk it up to Third World Glory.

Here is the website: http://viajecomoelorto.blogspot.com/

Here are some pictures:



A random dog hanging out, occupying your seat on the subte, typical. Rain = floods, typical. Ticket windows that are randomly just not working, or have a person there but they really don't feel like helping you, typical.

Are You Joking

Ok I know it's Friday night and I promise I'm about to leave but I just could not let this one slide away into the abyss of amnesia.

As I mentioned earlier, Madonna has taken over Buenos Aires and is doing 4 shows over the weekend. Great, cool, rad, it's Madonna she's the jam, hooray.

Tonight the news spent 15 minutes filming, analyzing, interviewing, etc. all about the Madonna concert. But not really the concert itself. The news item was all about the "PARKING ATTENDANTS" WHO SET UP SHOP IN A 20 BLOCK RADIUS AND CHARGED PEOPLE UPWARDS OF 40 PESOS A CAR TO PARK ... ON A PUBLIC STREET.

Is this a freaking joke or what ? Like, seriously. These unemployed villa-dwellers who have no real income and no real work incentive thought it would be a great idea to rip everyone off as much as they could and think that they can get away with it. They were charging some only $20 ("because up the hill they'll charge you $30 !! This is a deal"), and I still cannot believe that people paid. Granted, I cannot believe that these people have the gall to walk up to you and say "Hey, buddy, it's going to be 20 bucks (but pesos) for the car...I'll watch it for you" -- if you don't pay and you tell them to F off, they can't make you leave, but you can rest assured that your car will not be in the same pristine state it was when you left it earlier in the evening.

This is a completely legitimate "business" now and the police - who dot every other corner or so - seemed to have no problem with it. Well that's because the cops here are probably the most useless and corrupt people in the city. But that's another story.

I was laughing out loud at the tv tonight but was also in complete shock - there is no way that would go over in D.C. If you're going to get ripped off for parking you do it in a private lot where you at least know what you're getting into.

Last time I checked I don't want a funky smelling guy with a dirty rag "watching" my car for me.

A Quiz

Who can guess which of these products is orange juice and which is a SOY-MILK PRODUCT FLAVORED WITH ORANGE ????? I'm sorry but last time I checked, this is deceptive advertising and incredibly NOT helpful when trying to make a carrot-ginger soup that requires a splash or 10 of ( real ) orange juice.

Madonna in BA

OK so Madonna is in BA for a string of concerts and all I would like to say is, yes, she is a beast, she has a sick bod and her shows are incredible. Great. Cool. But anyone can look that good if you are in the gym for 4 hours a day with your trainer and if you only eat a macrobiotic diet. Also, her face scares me. A lot. The cheek-mouth connected part there really makes me feel nervous.

Anyway. Madonna met Cristina Kirchner yesterday and it made me throw up in my mouth. Here are pictures. ( Madonna played Evita, Cristina thinks she's the new reincarnation of Evita. Right. Because owning an Hermes bag worth a semester at Boston College really reflects that you're " a woman of the people " when your fellow citizens are buying an mp3 player in installments. )

Hmm

I'm finding it very ironic that the news has decided to spent 15 minutes doing a special news spotlight on the dangers of dieting when all you see all over this damn city are offers to eliminate cellulite, drop 10 lbs in a week, burnburnburn fat, and stick-thin women whose fake breasts protrude from their bodies only to exacerbate the contrast between the silicone and the bones that show through their skin.

That's all.

Well

Apparently I was being punished by someone or something when I complained about the flooding because I have been in bed for 2 days with a fever and inexplicable back hurting-ness. Great. Oh well. I'm finally feeling on the mend, and the only way I know that for sure is that I finally am hungry again ( do you know how hard it is for me to NOT eat for 2 days ? ) ... But I feel that stuffing my face with meat might not be the remedy my body is looking for.

Good news ! The apartment will be available a week from Friday. Huzzah. Next week we're swinging by to check it out and make sure it's shipshape before committing for good. I am beyond ecstatic. I am also so beyond happy to be coming home in 2 weeks for Christmas !! Really, even though it's strange to think that now going "home" is now more like "vacation" ... a.k.a I will no longer be staying at home for any extended period of time. I am just glad to think about reuniting with Bella and stuffing my face with Indian and bringing back some stuff for my apartment. Nothing mayjah. Speaking of mayjah, I finally saw "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" and thought it was one of the funniest movies I've seen in a while. Completely hilarious. I have always loved the main actor since Mere and I saw "Slackers" and now I still find myself singing the Dracula Musical song when I'm bored. So you should watch it.

I'm watching "The Dead Poets Society" and I'm always so thankful that cableTV here is good. I love being able to be ill and pathetic and boring in bed while watching "Serial Mom" "Scrubs" "Sunset Tan" and of course, the most hyped-up TV presentation of the year, "Britney: For the Record." Anyway, all I am proving right now is that I am lame. Moving on.

Tomorrow I need to call the Registro Nacional de Reincidencia, which basically is the place you go to get fingerprints done so they can confirm you are not a criminal in Argentina. I hope that I can get that taken care of ASAP because then I will have almost all of my paperwork together. I just need to get my birth certificate confirmed by the Argie consulate in the states, and then have it translated ( luckily I have someone who can do that, huzzah ) ... People we're getting closer to the coveted DNI. And by coveted I mean I'm the only person in the world who wants to have Argentine documentation. As the Indian himself says, "usually people try to get papers from a country that is a little better off than their own ... "

My eyes hurt from the screen and I'm going to go rest a tad more. I'm hoping all is well in the winter wonderland of the Northern Hemisphere and can't wait to be home for Christmas.

I Said I Wanted Rain ...

But I didn't ask for a freaking flash flood akin to something out of the Bible. I guess it would have been fine - if we hadn't been arriving to the gym / soccer game just as the skies opened up and any functioning drainage system ( aka there isn't one ) decided to skip town.

Seriously. At around 6 p.m. the lovely thunderstorm that I had so been waiting for finally arrived, and it was cloudy and cozy and perfect. At around 6.03 p.m. the city devolved into chaos as every street EVER flooded and the sidewalks became little islands and cars floated down streets. The Indian, who of course thinks he is the coolest person IN the world, was like "ohhh yeahhh we're totally going to WALK to my game / the gym and it will be sooooo cool blah blah" - I was like, ok whatever, I guess it's better than waiting stubbornly alone in the car ( because at that point I figured the car would flood and float away and take me to a horrible place ). As we approach the fields - right on Av. Libertador in Nuñez - it's like a scene out of something we saw on the news from New Orleans or any other hurricane-y situation. Add to the mix thousands of angsty punk rawkers and ska kids who had descended on the place in hopes of attending some concert, and we're ripe for a nice little violent conflict with the police. Don't ask me why this all made sense at the time. I was busy doting on the German Shepherds being wielded by said corrupt policemen.

Anyhow. Indian still thinks that you know, all of his friends will be waiting there at the fields ( I said that they were going to be flooded. Wow, I was right. Why are men so stupid ) ready to mess around and play fake soccer. We forge ahead, and we can't even make it down the street that takes you to the soccer fields because it's flooded up to your waist. YOUR WAIST. EW. Pretty disgusting. At least I wasn't wearing nice clothes, or flip flops, or anything ... Not that it really makes a difference. We decide to wade back to McDonald's ( word had gotten out that they went there, along with 5 million other people ) and I cannot believe that I actually survived. I pray that my immune system is holding up for me, just in case.

5 minutes after making it to McD's we all just say, screw this we're going home. We trudge back through the hell that is floodwaters and find the Golcito. Miraculously, there wasn't ONE drop of water inside that car. I swear it's a tank. A little, miraculous tank.




Link to video from the news -- http://www.clarin.com/

The Last Sentence

Really explains it all ....

Argentina Cuts Natural Gas Subsidies, Raises Rates (Update1)

By Drew Benson

Nov. 28 (Bloomberg) -- Argentine Planning Minister Julio de Vido said the government eliminated natural gas subsidies, which will mean higher well-head prices and rate increases for the biggest residential and industrial consumers.

The move, effective Nov. 1, will save the government 1.4 billion pesos ($420 million) a year, De Vido said during a press conference in Buenos Aires.

“These measures will produce a significant and direct reduction in subsidies for natural gas rates and as such increase production, which means more jobs,” De Vido said.

Consumers that use the most natural gas, 36 percent of residential users and 1.5 percent of industrial clients, will pay higher rates, De Vido said.

The announcement came a day after sporadic power outages for 43,000 consumers amid a heat wave led Argentines in some neighborhoods across Buenos Aires to bang on pots and pans in protest.

Fotos II

This last picture is pretty lame but I wanted to have a shot of the horses that La Martina has all over Buenos Aires .. kind of like the DC elephants & donkeys - a symbol that represents the city and then there are several interpretations of it ... Kind of cool. Don't mind me, because I look like a complete idiot.

Fotos

I would like to know why the quality of these pictures diminishes when I try to post them. Aghr.

Feliz Thanksgiving

I am hoping to a nice long thankful blog today but I'm not sure if I will be able to get it all down on paper. And by paper I mean internet. Anyway, I am happy today and thankful for the 5 people that read my blog, and I am thankful to be in Buenos Aires with some of my favorite people and my second family. I am thankful that my padres let me actually move down here so I could spend Thanksgiving in HOT weather.

I am NOT thankful for the sensación térmica .... which is apparently 33.4 degrees Celsius. I don't even know what that means but I know it's like 100 or something. Therefore, I am thankful that I do not have to go downtown and suffer in the sweltering city heat today.

We're going to Kansas tonight to celebrate and stuff our faces with turkey. I am very much looking forward to it and am happily enjoying my lazy day at home. I wish the Alamo were closer because then I would go down and watch some football, but like I said, it's too damn hot. Dare I say I wish I had some nice riding boots and scarves to put on ... Le sigh.

We have been cooking a lot lately. Homemade milanesas ( reallllly good ), and gazpacho and this really good mushroom cream thing, and potatoes with an arugula sauce thing .... It has been fun. Minus sweating my face off in the kitchen when the oven is on. I need to make more things. Also, why can't I find mint anywhere in this city ? And by city I mean like 6 block radius ? Oh that reminds me, I need to pay the vegetable man ONE PESO for the arugula bunch I bought yesterday. I only had a 100 peso bill, so he didn't want to give me change and just said I can pay him tomorrow. Is this 1950 ? I love it. But it's too hot to walk there. But I should. Gargh.

Ok so I think I'm going to go watch Friends and try not to break a sweat.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone ! I miss you, if you are in America, and I love you for putting up with me, no matter where you are. Polo pictures and cooking pictures and all the rest will be posted .... at some point.

Update

Ok sooooo let's see .... what have I been up to lately ?

Well, I have been making a lot of mental lists of things about which I would like to blog. However, I always forget the best little gems by the time I arrive home. It doesn't help that right now I am watching " The Secret Lives of Models " or something, and they are all trying to compete to see who has the best sob story about their lives. Wah.

For starters, it's hot. Really hot. It's nice. Minus when you are smushed on a bus for 45 minutes hoping you don't sweat every last pound off of your body before you reach home. But on the plus side, I will say that I am slowly but surely becoming a pretend-expert in the colectivos. I am completely in love with the 67, but have started to explore the joys of the 130 ... Hooray ! Although I'm sad that all of my little monedas are being wasted on the 0,90 needed to ride the bus. Katie told me that apparently you can buy packets of monedas that are secretly hidden in alfajores ... Strange but I am really not surprised, seeing as this is Buenos Aires.

We went to a nice little polo match on Sunday which was quite fabulous. Half of my body was tanned by the sun, so that is the only downfall I guess. We saw two games, the first was like the "B" team which was then followed by the "A" game - the first game was a little more exciting, but the second one was in the main field which was stunning. Perfect day, not a cloud in the sky, with a great urban backdrop. I have pictures, so I'll post those later. I wish I had pictures of the hot polo players. Yummy.

I have been trying to keep busy and get a little schedule / routine to avoid boredom, which some days is really easy, and others it seems a little more difficult. It's hard to keep busy all the time if you don't really have a lot of money and don't necessarily feel like riding the bus all day to kill time. I need to bring back books with me when I come back from Christmas so I can always have the option of going to the park for a while to sun and read. I guess for the next couple of weeks I will be busy studying for my tour guide-ism ... I have to beef up on my Argie and Porteño history before I can start giving private tours. I'm excited though !! Even though I will be starting right in the middle of the high season. I cannot complain because I need money and want to be busy ... But I guess it's always hard to get things started, or I mean it seems to be more of an "inconvenience" then it's nice once you find your rhythm.

For Thanksgiving I'm taking the Indian + Familia to Kansas for their special turkey dinner. Hooray !! America !! Kansas is a pretty legit restaurant actually that is always crowded and is more like an "American steakhouse" -- they serve huge portions, have great bbq ribs, etc ... I admit I am looking forward to it. I also feel so incredibly indebted to everyone for having helped me through these 2 months. I have had some really tough days here, but have always managed to keep on truckin' thanks to everyone who has listened to me whine or complain or bitch and moan. Thanks to Los Guris I have had a roof over my head, a nice washing machine, food, and love and hugs. I wish I could do more for them, but I know once I have my own apartment and some more money I will be able to pay them back in more ways.

Also, random side note. This past weekend was the first weekend in 2 months that we didn't go out either night. It makes me a little sad. Am I getting old ?

I am going insane with this whole issue about Residencia and whatnot. I am dying to have it all together, but I know it will take a while. The owners of the Alamo said that they had to wait a little more than a year, and that was just to get all of the correct papers together ... ughhh. Basically, once you have it all together you can get residencia in ONE DAY. ONE DAY, is that a joke ? No. But the gathering takes forever, because people don't know how to spell things here, or they don't make the perfect photocopy, etc. I am going to go in person tomorrow to Migraciones ( ugh ) to get a list of exactly what I need. I'm not sure how to do that though because I believe that I will need a job offer - which is supposed to arrive at my doorstep while I am NOT in Argentina apparently - or need to be married ( no way ), or a student at a University ( I have already passed that epoch, tear ).

I am happy because I finally bought ONE thing for my wardrobe. I got a really cute dress from my new favorite store, Complot, and a sassy belt. I also bought a new headflower ( Did I just admit that ? ) and socks. I steal socks from the Indian, and then he gets really, really irrationally bothered by that, and then makes me feel bad because I'm sockless. So I got some of my own pairs. As katie says, It's the season for socks ( ahem, I mean, as the old man selling socks on the train says ).

I went to Oui Oui with Mili and Katie the other day, which was heaven. I had a nice Palermo Friday and walked around all day alone and had happy conversation and now have happy memories. Then Saturday we had a little asado at Joaco's house, on his sunny terrace. Indian made the BEST BONDIOLA OF MY LIFE. I am still craving more.

All in all, life is really going well for me ... I feel good about my little job prospects and I am feeling energized by the sunshine. I am happy to come home for Christmas and cannot wait to see my family and eat so much Indian I will explode. But I am already excited to think about coming back here and having New Year's Eve: Summer version.

That was a boring update but I need to think more about what to write. Meow.

Mini Horse

Look ... it's reading a book !!!!

Running List

Of words that Argentines have robbed from the English language and tried to pass off as their own, solely because they have completely destroyed it with their own personal accent-adding.

I present, in no particular order:

- Sorry: pronounced "soorry"
- Gatorade: pronounced "Gay-to-raid" kind of sing-songy. WHY ?
- Nike: pronounced "nyke"
- Catering: pronounced "cat-erring" emphasis on the first syllable
- Face: pronounced "fay-ce" and refers to when a person tries to look hot ( but in my opinion just ends up looking like a freak )
- Stress: pronounced "estress" - NO
- Spinning: pronounced "espinning" - goodbye
- Yoga: pronounced "shoga"
- Marking: "marrrketing" - this is hard to convey, but when you hear it, you will die

That's all for now, but I will keep adding because there are too many words to remember at once.

I would also like to add that in Buenos Aires, if you realize you need to buy an extra remote control, for whatever reason, you can easily find and purchase one on the train at the extremely low price of 10 pesos. No guarantee that it will work, but you can buy one.

Bunny

My Life In Cellphone Pictures

La Flor from the bus at 8 A.M. Sunday

Way more sober than we look on the bus

PONCHO

Jacaranda in bloom

IT'S NOT EVEN THANKSGIVING YET ...

Being a freak and tanning in the park with my beach chair

The tree the Indian planted in the park

WTF

This is not at all Buenos Aires related, but it was brought to my attention and needs immediate discussion ...

MA's CANNOT be closing. Why ? No, no no no no no nooooo.
Some of the best and most pathetically embarrassing yet fun and sort of shameful nights of my life have been spent inside Mary Ann's dingy walls ... drinking Busch Light from bottles that were probably older than we would have liked to imagine, playing PhotoHunt for hours, and putting the same song on the jukebox over and over again just to bother everyone else. Hint: that song was Dimelo by the studly Enrique Iglesias, and no, I do not feel remorse for doing that.

HERE Is the link ... I am going to go drown my sorrows in ice cream now.

Weekend Update

Alright folks. Wow my brain feels fried from the weirdest sleeping schedule I have been keeping. Let's just say I need to increase my caffeine intake, stat.

Friday I met up with a friend of a friend from BC who is in Arg on a little 3 week vacation from work. We went to Milion, my favorite antiquated mansion renovated into a posh lounge and restaurant, for some caipiroskas. I had one too many. Surprise. This normally would not have been a problem if I hadn't promised him an afternoon of sightseeing around BA. I woke up feeling pretty much deflated but it felt good to walk ... All the way from Las Cañitas down Av. Libertador until we reached the Recoleta Cemetery. We refueled at another favorite spot of mine, Rodi Bar, and I made my way home.

Saturday was the main event. The fiesta of all fiestas. Creamfields 2008. Radical. Some incredible DJ's ... David Guetta, Hernan Cattaneo, Gorillaz, Steve Lawler. It was at the Autodromo, which I think translates to "giant field with a race track in the middle, lots of random trees, no cellphone service, and if the wind blows in the wrong direction, a nice smell of dog pee/poo" -- Ok, I kid. It was awesome. This year about 60,000 people showed up. A little too many in my opinion but there were multiple stages/tents so you could find exactly what you wanted in terms of music and room to dance.

About half of those 60,000 people are some of the weirdest people I have seen in my life. Weird costumes, wigs, face paint, metallic leggings, et al ... I guess it's the kind of music that attracts a crowd like that. It was great people watching for sure.

We went to see Guetta but since he is so popular, the tent was literally overflowing with people, aka super uncomfortable because every 4 seconds people pushed past you and such. But we heard about half of his set and it was really great. Then we went to the other side of the field to some other random tent and stayed there the rest of the night - Steve Lawler, Satoshie Tomie, and Martín García I think. I took a couple of pictures on my cellphone because I knew it would have been a bad idea to bring the dig.




They don't really show anything but whatever. Great night, a lot of dancing, great people. It was a fun group - Indian, 2 of his good friends forever, and then Joaco and his little posse of skydiving friends from Uruguay and Córdoba. It took forever to get out of the parking fiasco but it was really funny to keep the people watching going ... to see what the freaks of nature look like under the light of day.

I barely slept on Sunday day, and then had to wake up this morning at 7 A.M. so you can probably imagine that my face feels like it's throbbing.

BUT I am proud of myself for saving anywhere from 35 - 60 pesos by taking the dreaded colectivo this morning to the Hotel Alvear. I had to be there at 8.45 and was planning on just calling a remise ( car service that charges by Km, unlike metered taxis ) ... but the Indian kind of made fun of me for being pathetic and told me to just suck it up and take the bus. Buenos Aires has an incredibly comprehensive city bus system, most lines of which run 24 hours ( or almost all 24) and take you literally anywhere you need to go. It's actually pretty awesome but the system can be intimidating / annoying / smelly / frustrating / TAKE FOREVER. But I hopped on the 67 and it took me directly where I needed to go. Seriously. It dropped me off right in front of the hotel. It was pretty fabulous, despite the fact it took about 50 minutes. I even took it home too, and hopped off feeling quite proud of myself, even though there are people that do this all day, every day, from the time they are schoolchildren until they are 900 years old.

I'm needing some more sleep. Last night we watched the new Indiana Jones, and I cannot believe I wasted 2+ hours on it. It was so pathetic. I miss the old Indy days. Speaking of that, I want to see the new James Bond .. it opened in Argentina before it opened in the US ! Woo. Go 3rd World.

Ok that's all for now. I still need to maybe do an election-related post. I'll get around to that ... Meh.

Too Precious to Ignore

Wow. This just made my whole day.

A penguin who felt lonely and is comforted by a stuffed animal !!

Here is the link : http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1084037/Lonesome-penguin-cheered-new-friend--stuffed-toy.html

And here are pictures:

La Ciudad = El Horno

The city and a burning hot pizza oven have now become synonymous. Why is it so hot ? Trust me, I am NOT complaining, but I can only imagine how hellish Summer here will be. Thanks a lot, global warming. Oh well, even more excuse to escape to the shores of Argentina and/or Uruguay for a weekend getaway of sun and fun. I'm thinking Carilo ... I miss it there.

Anyway, so. I guess I will start with the wedding update. It's not even like this life-changing story but it's worth describing because it does deviate significantly from our nice American model. First of all, the whole church ceremony is kind of considered "extra" - Most couples do marry in the church but before that happens they must have the "Civil" ceremony, which is also a cause for celebration ( aka, friends and family attend ). This happens a day or two before the church shebang, and is at a courthouse-type thing in the corresponding area of residence. It's clearly not a formal affair but people dress up for it and look nice, and the Bride carries a nice little bouquet of flowers.

At Hernán & Mariana's civil, we waited about 90 minutes for the stupid room to become available, because apparently Halloween was THE day to get married in Buenos Aires. I'm serious; every 5 minutes a new couple + gaggle of family members would pour out of the doors of the building, throwing rice EVERYWHERE ( I'm glad I was wearing sunglasses ) ... At least the poor pathetic man hired to sweep the rice into a pile after every celebration was kept busy.

Anyway ... Once we got into the room and sat down for the ceremony, the judge man cracked some jokes, said it was a big deal and responsibility to get married, blah blah blah something about society, and then ... in 6 minutes it was over. Done. Finito. See ya. All they had to do was like, sign a piece of paper in some random book that is probably fake anyway and that was it. You're married !! Who would have thought ? So then we took some pictures and stood around and eventually went to the Groom's parents' house for a little fiesta.

We were there all freakin' afternoon. I mean, don't get me wrong, it was a fun time and it was a really wonderful occasion to celebrate ( The couple has been together for 9 years. Seem like a long time ? I know someone here who dated the same girl for 13 years and they ended up breaking up around his 30th birthday. Common law marriage, anyone ? ). But once again, a simple Argentine event ends up consuming every hour of your day. No bother - it was Halloween, sunny, beautiful and a Friday ! I stuffed my face with miga sandwiches and ate some weird cake concoction and called it a day.

Saturday is the main event - the church wedding + crazy reception. When I said that the Civil is more "important" I meant in the legal terms - I guess kind of like in the States when you need to have your marriage license, etc. before you can do the church thing - but it is also celebrated as part of the wedding weekend, I suppose. The Bride is from an area rather far from Buenos Aires, about an hour by car, so that is where we headed for the fiesta. They were to be married at 8.45 P.M. which would then eventually lead us to the reception. Once again, the Church is packed with weddings, seemingly one after the other. Spring Fever ?

We finally get into the Church and sit down, and of course I start weeping like a total freak when the Bride starts walking down the aisle. She isn't even that close of a friend ( The Groom and the Indian have known each other since childhood ), but she looked so happy and so tiny and delicate ! In Argentina, you don't have Bridesmaids and Groomsmen; the parents of each couple stand at the altar on either side throughout the ceremony. I kind of liked that idea, because your parents should serve as role models for how marriage should be and I think it's nice to think that they guide you through your entrance into that phase of life. But I still LOVED being a bridesmaid at my cousin's wedding so there you go.

There wasn't a Mass, no singing, nada. Just some random words from the Priest, we said the Our Father, the couple shared their vows and ta-da !! Married ( again ). It was a rather quick ceremony, albeit pretty. But it just didn't seem as effective ( emotional ? drawn out ? ) as an American church ceremony. We all filtered out of the church and congratulated the couple before meandering to the reception.

And here is where it gets "good" -- aka, kind of weird. I'm really not into the typically Argentine progression of the wedding reception because I don't like the idea of renting out a salon para fiestas ( a party place ) that sort of looks like all other similar places. It had this kind of cheesy facade but was rather nice inside - high ceilings, pretty tables. The wedding was rather small, I think there were only about 140 people ( Indian's sister had just been to one that had 450 people, and caviar. Hello ). After a cocktail hour we filter into the reception hall and wait for the couple to come out.

During this lull, the famous "Wedding Video" is shown - I feel like there are a million companies that offer the exact same service of making a powerpoint slideshow ( with "effects" that should have stayed in the 90s ) with pictures of the Bride and Groom from infancy to when they met to where they are today. It's a sweet, if not trite, idea, but usually never turns out as cool as it should be. Once we watched that, the B&G come in and do some dancing ( horrible DJ ). We are served our appetizers around 12 ... and after we finish ...

Everyone heads to the dancefloor.

What ?

We're in the middle of dinner !?

No, no, my dear friend.

Here in Argentina, you DANCE in between courses at weddings. It's not a bad idea actually but that is where the whole all-nighter thing originates. You eat, you dance for an hour. Eat again, dance for an hour +, eat dessert, and keep on dancing. It was good though because we got up and did some serious bootyshaking that helped metabolize the wine.

At some point during the party, a couple dressed in white and neon green silk some prancing onto the dance floor ready to shake it like a polaroid picture. The woman was dressed in head-to-toe Samba / Carnaval gear, complete with thong, sequins, feathers and fishnets, and the guy had on these horrible silk pants with a silk shirt that was not helping him in the anti-perspiration department. Ugh. Later that night I had to grab his shoulders while we did a Conga line. That idea just made me shutter.

This dancing duo was hired to be part of the party and get the guests involved. Wait. I thought we were already involved ? No ? Great. We had to do stupid things like dance in circles and make weird noises and line up and I don't even know. It was stupid. Sorry. Stupid. Waste. Of. Money. I prefer to have a nice long open bar for my friends and family rather than a weird sweaty Cuban man with a newsboy cap.

Things started winding down after dessert ( 3 A.M. ... ? I think ). But not before each table was given their VERY OWN BAG-O-CARNAVAL GEAR !! At every Argie wedding, the guests think it's funny / smart / attractive / cool to put on stupid giant hats and masks and use plastic inflatable props to run around and wreak havoc on each other. I don't know. I mean, it was fun to put on a sequined hat and walk around with a giant plastic butt mold ( complete with thong ) but I kind of feel like I hope my wedding doesn't have to stoop to that level. Cheesy. It all felt very, very 90s ... but I guess that comes as no surprise because it's always like that here.

Anyway ... it WAS a great night and I had a blast. We rolled in around 7 A.M. and are still finding sequins from the Carnaval props all over the house. I think the plastic butt ( Which I was insistent on bringing home ) is still in the car. I wonder if it will melt in the heat ?

So, that summary was probably not as good as it could have been.

Oh, I forgot to mention how people dress for weddings here ( on the whole ):
+ A LOT OF FAKE FLOWERS IN THE HAIR that are too big for a tiny person's head.
+ A lot of tropical fruit- type colors for long, poorly made dresses that take attention away from the bride ( Seriously, who wears a floor length fuschia satin mess to a wedding )
+ The world's ugliest hairdos you have ever seen. Why would you waste money paying someone to spray your hair with glitter, fry your hair with a barrel curling iron, and then smoosh it all down with an entire can of hairspray ???


So, as you can tell, life here is good and only gets better. Despite my infrequent lamentations that I feel completely useless, pathetic, failure-prone and stupid, I am confident that I will be well established in the next month or so. I cannot rush things, which I know. It's hard not to get ahead of myself but I am just so eager to be established !!

Next post will be about the election and the Argie reaction, as well as my search for the ideal apartment.

Tidbits and Musings

• Article about Maradona in the NYT. Bonus: Includes picture of him the size of a house.

• Today's sensación térmica is 95 degrees. Why are Argies more obsessed with the ST than the actual temperature ? I don't think I will ever be sure, but it's the go-to number before leaving the house. Sub-bullet: Even when it's hotter than hell outside, ok, let's say 75 degrees, I still see people walking around with jackets, long sleeves, etc. Why ? Especially if you are all so obsessed with how hot it feels outside, why don't you take that into consideration when getting dressed ? My only guess is that they are slaves to fashion. It's not time to wear white drapey tank tops and long chain necklaces. Not yet.

• Only in BA will you find a man painting the parking lot of a gas station at 11:30 on a Sunday night. Really. What ? Who does that ?

• Who on Earth goes to the gym with their hair down ( not to mention straightened ) ? I swear every time I go to work out it's like an international fashion show. You would die when you see how both the men and women dress to exercise. It's apparently fashionable to wear non-workout clothes to workout. A t-shirt that I would feasibly wear to a party or bar is what some underweight girl wears to spinning class. Men enjoy wearing sassy headbands and retro running shoes to lift weights. There is also this woman who comes to the gym every night around 10 P.M. or so and sits on the same machine ( the one that works your inner thighs. Very popular with the ladies. I admit I use it ) talking on her cellphone, for about 30 minutes. This is the only thing she does at the gym, and she only puts about 7 lbs of resistance ... I would love to know what her deal is. But she's too busy chatting on the phone to answer my question, I assume.

• I have decided that I prefer the traditional American wedding ceremony to the Argentine shebang. Well, the church part is prettier and more drawn out in the States, but I do like that the reception isn't as rushed as it is at home. In between every course, people hit the dance floor. It's pretty rad. And a good way to feel like you're burning the extra calories you just drank with your 5th free cocktail.

• I think that's all for now. I know I still need to give a little wedding summary. I promise I will do that.
  

Wedding Weekend

I will actually provide details and whatnot later but my brain is still functioning at a very low level. For now I will just let the pictures speak for themselves

Selección Nacional

So Diego Maradona was annouced to be the new DT of the Argentine National Selection just the other day. The last DT resigned after a pathetic loss to Chile in the World Cup qualifying match; of the last 4 DT's he had the lowest success rate anyway.

I get the feeling that most people are ecstatic to have Maradona lead up the team - for a whole host of reasons I suppose - but I just read online that apparently more than 70% of Argies are against the decision. Who knew ? Despite his drug issues, battle with obesity, and really weird hair, Maradona is Maradona. I find it difficult to contest his greatness when it comes to playing soccer and knowing how to win.

So we'll see how this plays out. I think the Argies have a really great chance for 2010 in South Africa. Speaking of sports and Argentines, I had no idea that the women's world champion of boxing is Argentine. From Polo to Rugby, Field Hockey to Tennis, Soccer to Basketball ( ok only because they won the gold medal / Ginobli ) ... Argies are pretty damn athletic. Good job. I wish we could find a way to score tickets to the Davis Cup in Mar del Plata next month. I want to see Del Potro like Redhead got to !

P.S. if you have NO idea who Diego Maradona is, I think you're only slightly pathetic. Here are some pictures to help "jog the memory" ( I included 3 stages, Normal, Crazy, and Obese )

I Hate

Economic crises.

The End.

The Maturity Level of the Argies

At this point has hit an all-time low ...

Now anyone who wants to be awesome and come visit me after Christmas / New Year's will have to pay even more than usual, because the Argies want "justice" for visa fees charged to their citizens by the US, UK and Canada.

Read about it here.

Borrowed from Broph

Because lately I have really been missing the locas from our semester with la UCA ... Thankfully one has returned to listen to me whine about my cravings for Oui Oui and things of that nature, but it's still just not the same without the rest. Four hour lunches, days spent shopping at Maria Cher and starting fights over karaoke at Kimia ( ok so that was just Belligerophy ) ... t'was a lovely life, my friends.

So here is my homage to the last little ride we all took in the Gol, Taxista/Bun/Indio at the wheel, et al ...

Hospital Horrors

Ok so I promised I would regale you with the hellish Saturday evening / Sunday morning hospital trip. Here I go ...

While we were at quite a fabulous party in Belgrano with our closest and funnest ( not a word ) friends, we had a pretty serious dance party going. The Indio and I were supposed to be leaving for El Tigre circa 10 a.m. but were still going strong around 6. Probably not a good idea but, hey, whatever. By this point most of the people had left and the entire floor was like a little beer pool. Typical, but not optimal for walking - especially in high heels. Poor Mercedes was coming down the stairs, which were slippery, small, and hard to see in the dark ( I almost face planted myself a couple of weeks before ! ) ... She eats it. Badly. Very, very, very and awfully badly. You don't even want to know what it sounded like when her forehead smashed into the floor. I thought I was a pretty brave person but I became as useless as a houseplant and pretty much was an embarrassment to the world of friendship.

Luckily Indio and Manolillo were right there to take over and take charge. We called the ambulance right away because there was enough blood to look like something out of Law & Order. Any kind of cut on the forehead always seems to bleed more anyway. Add the fact that you could see the bone ... and you have a pretty gruesome image. But here's the thing - Mercedes is such a badass, and is so amazing and perfect in every way, she didn't even cry !! She wasn't hysterical at all ( like we all know I would have been ) ... at first she was disoriented but we got her to calm down and despite being pretty much covered in blood, she was fairly relaxed.

Eventually the ambulance came, but unfortunately Manolillo didn't call the number on the back of the health insurance card - he had called like the public 911 instead of the private one - and the first hospital we went to was the most awful place I have ever been. Apparently it's supposed to be one of the better public hospitals, so I don't even want to think about what the worse ones are like. Most of the people who have bad accidents, are run over by buses, are drugged out and drunk, get robbed, and things of that nature show up to said hospital so you can imagine the crowd. Pretty motley. We arrive and it's raining; they have put cardboard boxes all over the floor so people don't slip. Practical, perhaps, but certainly not attractive ( or sanitary ? ). I look around and most of the signs on the walls are either broken, incomplete, or filled in with permanent marker where the lettering has faded.

You can imagine that I didn't want to set foot near the Neurosurgery unit when I saw that half the letters weren't even printed on the wall.

We all wanted to get Mercedes out of there asap but knew they had to do some X-Rays to make sure her bones weren't broken and to clean the wound. In the meantime a little visitor wandered his way into the hospital waiting room, alone and pretty high on something. He was clutching his arm and blood was dripping from his elbow and his fingers. He said that he was robbed but I didn't really pick up the rest of the details from his incoherent rambling. He couldn't even stand and the Indio had to help him to the ground to help stop his swaying. Blood was dripping all over the floor, and the hospital people just had him keep waiting there with everyone else. I was thoroughly grossed out but I felt so bad for this guy - ok so he was pretty bombed and the injury wasn't as bad as it seemed, but he was alone, scared and dripping blood after having been more or less violently robbed. Can someone maybe take him in the back and give him a bed and some water ? I was in shock that he was treated that way.

Once he went inside the hospital, they didn't even come mop up the blood all over the floor. Check please.

After an hour or so we manage to get Mercedes out of there and know we can take her to the better hospital, Swiss Medical. Once we arrive it's a whole different world. A modern building, clean, orderly, it looks like a real hospital. Someone else re-inspects and bandages the wound and says they called the plastic surgeon to come in to sew up the scar. Seeing as this cut was fairly deep and right on her forehead, we all said that she needed to have the best person sew it up as to avoid an ugly scar that would last forever. We're feeling good at this point, and they say the surgeon shouldn't take too long to arrive.

Three hours pass. We are all falling asleep on the waiting room chairs, starving and exhausted and still worried about our little lady's head injury. She was like the most upbeat of us all. She is a genia. I love her. She also looked pretty badass at this point in the morning ... Cute outfit gone awry with a huge white bandage on her head.

Indio and I finally leave around 12 noon when we realize that the surgeon is taking forever and there is nothing else that we can do. And by we, I mean he. I remained useless the entire evening and wish I could have done more, but I guess I provided some moral support and company while everyone else tried to get things done. I got a message from Mercedes at almost 3 p.m. saying she is finally home, relaxed and resting.

The kicker: her bloodstained white pants ( which were pretty much ruined, I thought ) came out completely fine in the wash that morning. The only stains that didn't come out were the ones of the dirt that she sat in while we waited for the ambulance. So strange.

We slept all day and I am still trying to get back on a non-noctural sleeping schedule. Everything today gave me fiaca and I just wanted to relax in the sun. I think tomorrow it's going to be even hotter so I might do some sunbathing in the park.

I went to see an apartment this afternoon that I had found on craigslist. Three foreigners already live there: a German guy, an Honduran, and a French girl. The place was pretty spacious, well located and is really cheap for what it is. However, I realized that I have already done the "live with strangers, and even though they're really nice realize that the apartment will never be as clean as you hope and will lack the little details you would add to your own apartment if you lived alone or with a best friend" kind of thing. I want to be able to have a little haven I can come home to and know that it won't be a mess or just kind of disorganized. So the search continues. I wish I could afford the amazing duplexes I have seen in Palermo ... that would be heaven on earth.

Oh let me add a picture from the Hospital ... I hope you aren't offended, and if you are, well, be glad you weren't there in person.

I'll leave out her face just for the hell of it. At least she still had her adorable flower head-accessory ( quite in style here these days ) with her and at that moment was using her own cellphone to take pictures of the damage. Once she arrived home I asked her how many stitches she got and she said she had completely forgotten to ask. If only I were as laid-back as she is !

Alright, well I guess that is enough for now.

Lessons learned:
- If you find yourself in an ambulance in Buenos Aires, beg them to take you to a private hospital. If you end up at the Piruvano, run away as fast as you can, even if you have to take a cab. Don't get brain surgery at this hospital. You will probably emerge a few screws loose.

- Try not to break your head open in the first place. But if you do, remain in good spirits and just hope you have some really good bleach and stain remover for once you get home.

- Sleeping all day means that you will have a very hard time sleeping at night. Therefore, any and all consumption of caffeine - coca light, coca común, café con leche - should be eliminated from the diet, no matter how impossible that seems.

Formula Uno

Even though it's in Spanish, watch this news video of the Formula 1 thing from Saturday. Do you realize that 85,000 people came to 9 de Julio to watch this ridiculous spectacle. Trust me I am not exaggerating; it's not like he flew by at the speed of light all day long -- he spent 30 minutes driving pretty much in circles.

For your viewing pleasure: Enjoy !!