Did You Know

That in Argentina, if you have OSDE Medical Insurance, Plan #410 (One of the better, but not incredibly expensive plans), after being a client for one year, you are entitled to a FREE breast augmentation surgery ????

And if you remain a client, you are entitled to one cosmetic surgery every 3 years ?? Free of charge.

If that doesn't explain why everyone here is insane, I'm not sure what does.

Resfriadaa

So Pagina has a cold. Or allergies. We aren't sure yet, but I have been taking Sudafed and allergy pills today in hopes of getting rid of the very attractive sniffles I have. Horrible.

I have zero desire to get out of my bed and go to La Peña tonight for a concert for work but I guess since I am kind of like the little caretaker of the kiddos I have to make an appearance. Maybe tomorrow I can sleep in and get a little extra rest. Slash, nap alllll day long.

I also have nothing exciting to say. Coming home in 6 days. Can't wait to eat Indian and see Bella.
But first ... I must get those boots at Kosiuko.

Chauski

Lovely Cortazar Poetry

No me des tregua, no me perdones nunca.
Hostígame en la sangre, que cada cosa cruel sea tú que vuelves.

¡No me dejes dormir, no me des paz!

Entonces ganaré mi reino, naceré lentamente.
No me pierdas como una música fácil, no seas caricia ni guante;
tállame como a un sílex, desespérame.
Guarda tu amor humano, tu sonrisa, tu pelo. Dálos.
Ven a mí con tu cólera seca de fósforo y escamas.
Grita. Vomítame arena en la boca, rómpeme las fauces.
No me importa ignorarte en pleno día,
saber que juegas cara al sol y al hombre.
Compártelo.

Yo te pido la cruel ceremonia del tajo,
lo que nadie te pide: las espinas
hasta el hueso. Arráncame esta cara infame,
oblígame a gritar al fin mi verdadero nombre.

Happy Half Birthday To Me

Presidenta puta Kirchner clearly knew that she wanted to make my half birthday a new National Holiday, so therefore I am currently in my bed watching My Super Sweet Sixteen and not going to work today.

22.5 years. Weird.

This show really bothers me. I am kind of sick of the whole "ha ha mom and dad, you tricked me and acted like this (not) shitty jeep cherokee is the car I'm getting for my birthday when in reality you're getting me a LAMBORGHINI" ... WHAT ? I'm sorry, and I am going to sound evil for this, but I hope all of those kids have crashed their cars and that the families are suffering the effects of their idiocy now that we are in a serious recession. What 16 year old deserves a car more expensive than their life? Give me the old Volvo Mere and I drove anyday. Grrr.


In 8 days I am coming home. I am really excited but I always hate the idea of packing and getting everything together. Especially this time because I have to have all of my legal and visa documents in order. I hope I don't forget anything down here when I go back. I also should bring back a lot of presents for people and I have a feeling that might not be happening. Am I a horrible person ????

Ok off to watch the telly and dream of my new purchases.

Another Reason that I Doubt the Common Sense of Argentines

Why do certain things "cost" 1.99 or 2.99 or ANYTHING .99 if THE ONE CENTAVO MONEDA pretty much does NOT exist ??????

Annoying.

????? $$$$$$ :( :( :( :(

The dollar today closed at 3.70
Great for tourists coming to visit me for a couple of weeks
Horrible for people like me living here.
Makes me wish my salary were in dollars
Then I'd be a high roller here in Buenos Aires

In other news.
I got my haircut today and
surprisingly
didn't leave in tears
or in a fit of rage
So my hair has remained normal
and I do not have an Argentine Mullet.
Amen. Namaste.

Random Pictures

Dominating the Nike 5K

At La Peña Colorado

That's all. Bye.

Not Fair

That some You Tube videos are NOT "available" in Argentina. What is that ? Not such a universal tool, that sneaky little You Tube. Grrrr.

I am also about to embark on an urban adventure via La Bicicleta Naranja this afternoon. Must head off to San Telmo and then will be farting around the Costanera Sur Ecological Reserve. It will be interesting only because I'm assuming that I will crash at least once. Oh man.

Tuesday is a Feriado here, aka a random holiday. Apparently it's a new one so I am looking forward to using that day to sun myself, and perhaps buy some nice things for Fall. Yes, a very productive day off indeed.

Eidelweiss just came on my ipod so I must go sing along with it now.

Chauski

Tidbits

So I fell in love with my 65 year old crazy cab driver yesterday. He was going on and on about chivalry and being a gentleman. He was bitching about the Argentine men of today who prefer to spend time with the "pibes" or "chicos" ( friends ) than with a beautiful and lovely woman who is devoted to them and loves them. Then he said he hated how they put on ugly sneakers and cheap cologne to go out when women try so hard to look nice for them. He told me that he loves to bring home a little bouquet of jasmine for his wife every day, since it only costs 2 pesos.

I was like, do you have a younger, slightly more attractive twin brother or clone or something along those lines? He was the greatest. I wish all Argie men were as old-school thoughtful and chivalrous as Mr. Cab Driver. Le Sigh.

I also think that I have like some invisible sign on my forehead that says "Do not let your dog near me" or something. I have NO idea why but every time I see an awesome dog walking around here with its owner, I kind of subtly try to chase it and pet it and talk to it and basically just smother it with love. Well, it´s as if the owner sees me coming on some strange radar and ACTUALLY MOVES THEIR DOG TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE STREET in an odd and inhumane form of punishment. It is truly not fair and I think I might just start following them until I can play with them in the park. How creepy do I sound ?

Today is the first day of Fall/Otoño and if you go to Google Argentina you will see the little logo design is by one of my favorite people of all time - Eric Carle. I love him love love love love him! When I was young I had this little kit to make your own colored paper creations like his. So go to google.com.ar and enjoy.

Happy Spring to those in the Northern Hemisphere.
I took a nap last night and woke up at 8 pm and it was basically dark. I was so freaked out and I thought it was like 10.30 or something and then I realized that it´s just fall now and I was kind of bummed. But it´s fine because it´s still going to be 82 degrees today and once it cools off I can also buy some amazing sweaters from Ayres.

Speaking of sweaters, I need to call Huija about my boots. Boots and sweaters go together.

I think that´s all.

Oh wait, I also realized that my dream of being a fabulous kiosk owner could totally come true. Today I went by one where the owner was this amazing 60 year old woman who had her little dog keeping guard out on Santa Fe and I thought "ok, this could be a legit life" just selling phone cards, cigarettes and super sugary candy to people from all walks of life. I am going to look into that.

Another Reason to Come Home in April

Spooning with Caitlin M. Faith O´Hern

Things I Love About Belgrano

The amazing green trees that wind up and down Olleros, Gorostiaga, Federico Lacroze, and all of the other lovely streets that are near my little house.

Cobblestoned streets because I feel like I´m in colonial times. Or, cobbly street times. All of the amazing embassies and residences that remind me of Kalorama. I feel like I´m back in my favorite neighborhood of DC. I also have a serious desire to win the lottery and buy one of those houses someday ....

My little chinese laundromat that always folds my towels perfectly when I feel like paying to get them washed and dried.

My little stroll down into Cañitas that takes me to Natural Deli, Persicco and the compact yet dangerously good Solar de la Abadía mall.

All the bus stops on my corner. Yes, I take the bus now and I basically could not live without it. I love it. Sooooo very much. And the best part is that I have all of the stops right on the edge of my street so I don´t have to do any annoying street crossing or unncessary walking ( how lazy do I sound ?).

My little doorman from Paraguay, Luis, who always cares for me and giggles when I trip getting into the elevator.

Dogs. Eveywhere. Oh wait, that´s all of Buenos Aires.

Yep.

The Only Reason to Come Home in April

Brittany Murphy's Lifetime Movie ...

Cilla McGowan is a former child star who has found more satisfying work restoring old houses. In search of a normal life, Cilla buys her grandmother’s farmhouse in Virginia’s Shenandoah Valley to rescue it from ruin. Her hope for serenity is soon eclipsed by haunting dreams of her famous grandmother, who died of a supposed overdose in the house more than 30 years ago. Cilla soon forges a romantic relationship with Ford Sawyer, her handsome new neighbor, who ultimately comforts and protects her when her dark dreams and family secrets spiral into a real-life nightmare.


ZING

Suffering

I am trying to wean myself off of caffeine ( zing, I rhymed ) and have currently been suffering from the most horrible headaches. WHYYY ??


I don't even drink coffee to wake up in the morning !! I just like how it tastes and I like how it keeps me busy at work, aka I look cool and important drinking coffee.


Well now I have a throbbing above my eyeballs. I think I just need to get through today and tomorrow ... and the next year ... and we'll be ok folks.

I'm Bored, and I love Engrish

Floggers Make It into the NYT .... ????

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/03/14/world/americas/14cumbio.html?_r=1


Now this has to be a joke
But, on the bright side, you can get a little glimpse of what I have spent so many words talking about on this thing.
Oh, le sigh, the Floggers live on

Barf

Love/Hate

I hate, but really love, when stupid horrible mean old Argentine women think that I don't speak Spanish and say something under their breath like "ay, que gringa malcriada" and then I can just look her in the face and say "I understand what you're saying"

Then in my mind I shoot daggers in her direction.

Victory.

The Perfect Way to Describe Life Here

"Life here is so strange. The weirdest things happen. I feel like I´m living in a French movie"

- Katie, my coworker

Why

Did I just find a bobby pin safely tucked into the hem of my jeans while I was eating lunch?

Did I put it there for safekeeping, or what?

Hmmm....

Life Vida Vie

So to further complicate my life, calle Ecuador is NOW GOING IN REVERSE. What was once a one-way street going down, it is NOW REVERSE. It totally blew my mind this morning, because I thought I had been smoking crack in my sleep.

I am now confused.

But it´s fine.

Last night Katie and I splurged a bit and got Dashi sushi delivered. It was like a little bit of home, just because it was actual, real sushi that didn´t seem like some faux Argie-fied version. It was delicious. It was accompanied by a nice Chardonnay from Postales del Fin del Mundo. Bon appetit.

I was also caught in a torrential downpour yesterday. March is monsoon season here. Well not real monsoons but basically the same. An Urban Monsoon if you will. Luckily I had an umbrella with me. And the bouquet of flowers I had just bought myself. And a shopping bag full of cheap kitchen stuff I had gotten on sale. And my purse. And no raincoat. Joy. When I finally got on the bus I was stuck behind a group of women from Paraguay who were unable to move forward onto the bus so I was basically hanging out in the rain with my purse open ( needed to get my change ready ). Fabulous. Then just one of the women was going to pay for all 4. Which meant she had to put 5 pesos worth of coins into the machine. This took twice the time because her change was all soaking wet from the rain and the machine couldn´t accept them that way. I was full of rage and wanted to stab her with my umbrella. Ella , ay ay, ..... oh Rihanna.

But I digress.

I think I finally saw a Standard Poodle from afar today !! I almost got off the bus to go chase it into the park but I decided that would be a little over the top. But I think it was a real sighting. Like the people who search for UFO´s in New Mexico, I search for standard poodles in Buenos Aires. It´s basically the same. But, not.

I still hate inflation. A lot. Too much really.

I am also going to boycott Coto if IT TAKES 20 MINUTES FOR ME TO CHECK OUT OF THE GROCERY STORE FROM THE "CAJA RAPIDA" LINE AND WHEN I ONLY HAVE ONE ITEM - A BOTTLE OF WINE. I am convinced it´s a conspiracy to test our patience or something. I was so angry last night, 9 pm, there was no line when I got into the "caja rápida" aka 15 items or less checkout. Wonderful, I thought, this will be an in-and-out quick trip. Oh no. The INEPT CASHIER WOMAN took 5 minutes to scan just one item that this older lady had. Then she stared into space for a good 45 seconds, just to see what was out there I suppose. I don´t know. I need to find a good Chinos supermarket nearby to avoid the quilombo of Coto. Rage.

I want to go for a run again today and keep up my fitness kick. I guess it doesn´t really count as fitness if you eat ice cream every day after lunch, which consists of empanadas, pizza, and french fries. Whatever.

Ok back to work ...

TMZ

I really hate this show. It's on tv here and I have never really seen it. I don't know if you have, or if you care, but either way, avoid it if you can.

It's basically the "boss" who just drinks something out of a big metal coffee mug with a plastic straw while he and his "staff" sit around and talk about stupid video clips their paparazzi have of random/unimportant celebrities. Then someone makes a "witty" remark or a "joke" about said clip and they all laugh in extremely planned unison. It's so stupid.

I think it's supposed to seem like an enticing place to work, like : "Working at TMZ is so cool, all we do is laugh about celebrities and wear ironic t-shirts from Urban Outfitters!!!" when all I think is: "TMZ, so easy an idiot could do it better than the people actually paid to work there"

Plant Lady

So I now am happy with my two new plants, Mint and Lavender. I have yet to name them as they haven't acquired personalities of their own thus far. But they are happy on my balcony and enjoying the sun and warm breeze. I hope that maybe one day they will have some new friends, Basil, Rosemary and/or Cactus.

I am becoming a crazy old lady.

I also am obsessed with sweeping and do it frantically at least once every 2 days. I have tiled floors so it's really easy to 1) see dust or dirt or hair, 2) be driven insane by its existence and 3) sweep it away into oblivion. I love it. I have yet to master the technique of the trapo here, since mops don't really have much of a place in the home. Argies like to push a rag around using a stick, sometimes with a little squeegee thing on the end but not always. It's kind of weird to get the hang of it and my rag ( trapo ) always ends up bunching and then I have to pick it up and I just get frustrated.

Today for lunch I had some delicious spicy empanadas but then had to suffer underground in the Subte for 30 minutes which made my panza not happy. I am starting to be more baffled at the idiocy of some people here. Maybe there are dumb people everywhere, well, I know that dumb people are everywhere, but I think there are higher concentrations in Capital Federal. How can you meander and lollygag on a subway platform at one of the busiest transfer stations in the city? I mean there are literally HUNDREDS of people constantly streaming through the Diagonal Norte / 9 de Julio connection and at least 80% of the people are wandering in zigzags and NOT SEEMING IN A HURRY AT ALL. WTF. I hate that. When I am alone I just do an insane weave in-and-out to get ahead but if I am with someone else I can't really abandon my wingman/lady. It's a true test of patience.

What I do love about Buenos Aires is the concentration of helado. I get off the bus and have at least 2 ice cream places within reach. Today I had a lovely chocolate mousse and mint chocolate chip combination. This was before said purchase of Lavender. Walking into my building was hard today with all of my new belongings and dripping ice cream.

I think that is all for now ... I am watching Dr. 90210 again and it's the same episode I have seen at least 87 times. Why can't they get the new ones? I am sick of Dr. Rey's anorexic wife talking about finding herself again by going to Montreal. Come on. This is so last season ( aka the season before that ).

All I want to do is buy EVERYTHING that is out for Fall here. I went into Kosiuko the other day and just suffered because I wanted everything. Boots, sweaters, scarves, amazing dresses ... Le sigh. I hope I win the lottery soon.

I also want to steal the turtle Joseline that lives in the office of the Argentimes. She likes to hide under the fridge when she needs a nap and I would like to make her come with me everywhere I went. Must look into getting a turtle.

OH WAIT

I ran a 5k Race on Sunday !! The Nike "Día de la Mujer" Carrera de las Chicas. It was really fun. I finished in a little less than 28 minutes, even though the website results say 29minutes. That's because I didn't make it across the finish line until almost 1:30 into the race. The foot chip thing I had on was supposed to remedy that but oh well. I don't really care. I still apparently finished 75th in my category, out of 239 chicas. Hooray !!! My friends Kata and Adrianna were there to cheer me on and even made a little sign, and took a hilarious picture of me as I was nearing the finish line. I feel pretty rad. I might even try to do a 7k soon ... but we'll see ...

The Joys of Grocery Shopping on a Saturday

WHY ARE THE DUMBEST PEOPLE IN THE WORLD AT COTO ON A SATURDAY?? ( slash, any day of the week ) ... I don't think anything beats this image: a young married couple. The wife is HOLDING HER BABY as usual, and the husband therefore has to push THE CART FULL OF FOOD AND THE BABY STROLLER. Yes. they have the stroller with them, even though they aren't using it. The grandmother and grandfather, combined age 210, are both there, useless, and taking up valuable aisle space.

i hate everyone.

Life

So Av. Pueyrredón is now doble mano which means it´s a 2 way street now. This has changed my life dramatically because traffic is now twice as bad which means I am now twice as rageful at the 118 bus driver who doesn´t really know how to use his brakes properly. Then I just angrily ring the bell begging to get off ASAP because I´m sick of bus surfing.

Also. I love when old ladies talk to their little poodles as if they were their old lady friends. Like today on Santa Fe this morning an impeccably dressed 99 year old was yelling at her poodle for going in the wrong direction ( as if the dog knew what it was doing ).

Um WHY IS EVERYONE IN ARGENTINA PREGNANT? It doesn´t help that I work right near the Maternal Health hospital or whatever. But today at McDonald´s ( yes I went there for lunch, don´t judge ), I had a minimum of 3 pregnant women in my view while I chowed down on my BigMac. Everyone is either 9 months pregnant or carrying at least 3 small children on their arms.

Today I saw a woman WALKING DOWN THE STREET AND BREASTFEEDING SIMULTANEOUSLY. WHAT. I´m sorry, your baby can wait 1 minute for you to find a place to sit down and do that. I am kind of over my whole thing about women doing that on the bus or any place like that. Maybe I´m just used to it. But please, the whole breastfeeding and walking combination just spells out disaster to me, among other things.

It rained for a good 20 hours yesterday. Pouring rain. Finally it has stopped but it´s still humid as all hell here. Why? I would love to know.

Sunday is the Día de la Mujer. Day of the Woman. Yeah that´s right. So I am celebrating it by running a 5k race. HA. But the other day I ran 5k in 28 minutes. ZING. I am getting excited. I didn´t go yesterday because of the pouring rain and then a dinner I had to go to. But I am off to the gym this afternoon before heading BACK downtown for drinks at Gran Bar Danzon. katie is making me go with her but I am so poor that I probably will only be able to share tap water. That´s fine. I have nothing better to do and I guess it will be fun to dress up a little bit and feel sassy.

Ummmmmmmmmmm I think that´s all.
I am a full blown coffee addict and I get headaches when I don´t drink it. Not good. I am going to try to wean myself off. Starting ..... now?

Email sent to Parents today

i went to Coto, big supermarket chain, to buy 36 liters of beer for the Road Welcome Dinner tonight

and randomly taped up on the aisle and shelves was this sign:

"dear customer, there is a limit of 12 units per person"

with no explanation, no law, no reason, nada.

i go to ask the people at the cashier and NO ONE KNOWS WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT
no one knew about it before the signs were put up. our dumb cashier who looked like he was from the addams family said " maybe it´s a promotion!" ... why. that makes NO sense.

then katie and i just went to check out anyway thinking we could ask what was up and see if we could work around it

the cashier had no idea and just looked dumbly at his supervisor who whispered to him

"yeah no one knows what the signs mean so just go through with the sale"

WHAT ?