Thanksgiving SOLO MISSION

ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmg

So Katie, the turkey queen and domestic goddess who can make anything in her tiny toaster oven, got food poisoning last night and can't come to Thanksgiving. This is depressing on many levels, not only because she is my friend and sidekick who makes me laugh so incredibly hard, but because SHE WAS THE ONE WHO WAS GOING TO COOK THE TURKEY !!!!!!!!!!!!!

She actually got poisoned by her own pumpkin pie. This world is a sick and twisted place, my friends. After spending hours creating a Paula Deen pumpkin pie, Katie tried a piece to see how it had turned out. 8 hours later she woke up violently ill and has been bedridden all day. It's so sad. She can't join us tonight and ... I have been placed in charge of the turkey.

Yes, I, Paige, who has never even baked a chicken before, HAS TO COOK THE THANKSGIVING TURKEY FOR TONIGHT'S EXQUISITE DINNER GATHERING. Luckily Katie gave me some tips and pointers and it didn't/doesn't seem too bad.

However, I had to run from work (yes, people work on Thanksgiving in this godforsaken city) to her apartment to care for her and soothe her poisoned soul, getting medicine and calling the doctor to make a house call. Then I had to schlep a 12 lb bird to the flower stand to buy the flowers for the tables/centerpieces.

I went from flower stand to ANOTHER flower stand 8 blocks away, on foot, with the bird, the bird accompaniments, a bouquet, dripping sweat like a maniac.

I came home, thankfully in a taxi, then had to unload the groceries, cut/prepare the flowers, set the tables, get everything in order and then head back out to the store to get more stuff and to pick up the cake ! Thank God I had ordered a delicious chocolate mousse/merengue creation from Maru Botana, knowing that the Argies might not eat the pumpkin pie. When I say might not, I mean, would rather cut off their own arm than try our amazing American traditional slice of bliss. But I digress.

I managed to get that squared away, and then I had to face two massive challenges.

1. Lighting the gas oven. I live in the 3rd World. Things aren't automatic here.
2. Cleaning, dressing, preparing, talking to, caressing, massaging, etc ... the turkey.

It's 85 degrees today.

After only 2 tries I got the oven lit. I then spent a good 20 minutes dissecting the bird and removing its insides and pondering its esophagus. It looks like it was added there by accident. Maybe it's not supposed to be there. Was I supposed to remove it ? Too late now I guess.

Then I gave it a nice sassy massage of butter, rosemary olive oil, salt&pep, etc. Stuffed it nice and full of onions, garlic and a little more rosemary. I went to town. I spoke to the bird, deciding to name her Flopy (nickname for Florencia here) because she wouldn't sit still. I also wondered why her butt is like this extra appendage.

The turkey is in the oven, folks. I need to shower now and wrap my head around the fact that I just did MY FIRST TURKEY EVER. Does this mean I am an adult now ? Strange.

Anyway, Happy Thanksgiving and pictures/anecdotes about the disaster about to ensue will follow.